10 Topics to Avoid on a First Date (If You Want a Second!)

First dates can be exciting—and let’s face it, a little nerve-wracking too. You’re meeting someone new, trying to gauge the vibes, and hoping for that elusive spark. But sometimes, even with the best intentions, certain conversations can send things off course faster than a bad Tinder profile.

According to matchmakers, the key to a great first date is keeping the conversation fun, light, and engaging. So, let’s talk about what not to talk about on that all-important first outing.

1. Don’t Bring Up Your Exes or Past Relationships

“My ex used to love this place!” or “Ugh, my last relationship was a disaster.”—Nope. Don’t go there.

Talking about an ex is like inviting a third wheel to your date. It makes your date wonder if you’re over your past, or worse, if they’re being compared.

Instead: Focus on the person in front of you. Ask about their interests, favorite travel spots, or the best book they’ve read recently. There’s plenty to discuss without dragging your ex into it!

2. Avoid Personal Finance Discussions

Discussing salaries, debts, or investments on a first date? Big yikes.

Money talk can come across as awkward or even judgmental. You don’t want to accidentally sound like you’re flexing or probing too much into your date’s finances.

Instead: If the topic comes up naturally, keep it light. For example, “I love saving up for travel” is perfectly fine. Leave the detailed budget breakdowns for later—if at all!

3. Steer Clear of Controversial Topics Like Politics or Religion

Unless you met on a platform specifically for debating politics or theology (which, kudos to you), save the heavy stuff for another day. These topics can spark heated debates or create tension before you’ve even decided on dessert.

Instead: Stick to neutral ground. Chat about your favorite movies, bucket list adventures, or the best meal you’ve ever had. You’re here to bond, not brawl.

4. Don’t Jump Ahead to Marriage or Kids

“So, where do you see yourself in 10 years?” might seem harmless, but it can send the wrong message.

Talking about marriage and kids too soon can feel like a lot of pressure—especially when you’re still figuring out if you even want a second date.

Instead: Focus on the present. Ask about their hobbies or what they enjoy doing on weekends. There’s plenty of time to talk about long-term goals if things progress.

5. Keep the Vibe Positive—No Complaining or Ranting

We get it—work can be stressful, and traffic was a nightmare. But a first date isn’t the place to vent. Constant complaining can make you seem like a negative person, and that’s not the vibe you want to bring to the table.

Instead: Share something positive. Talk about a recent win at work or a fun experience you had recently. Positivity is contagious, and it sets the right tone.

6. Avoid Oversharing Personal Struggles Too Early

Being open and vulnerable is great—eventually. But on a first date, diving into deep personal struggles can feel a bit heavy. It’s a lot to process for someone you just met and can shift the mood of the date.

Instead: Keep it authentic but light. Share things that give a glimpse of your personality without going too deep too soon.

7. Gossip or Criticizing Others is a No-Go

Talking badly about a coworker, a friend, or even the server at the restaurant? Not cute. It can make you seem judgmental or unkind, even if that’s not your intention.

Instead: Focus on building a positive connection. Compliment something about your date or the setting you’re in. Kindness goes a long way!

8. Don’t Dive Too Deep Into Health or Diet Details

It’s fine to mention that you’re gluten-free or vegan if it’s relevant, but going into detail about your daily calorie intake or medical history can feel a little… much. Your date might feel awkward or unsure about how to navigate the conversation.

Instead: If it comes up, keep it casual. Then steer the conversation to something you’re passionate about, like your favorite workout routine or a recent health goal you’ve crushed.

9. Avoid Making It All About Work

Talking about your career is natural, but turning the date into a corporate meeting? Hard pass. Overloading the conversation with work talk can make the date feel stiff or one-dimensional.

Instead: Share a fun work story or an achievement you’re proud of, but balance it with personal topics like hobbies, travel, or what you do for fun.

10. Don’t Dominate the Conversation About Yourself

This might seem obvious, but it’s easy to get carried away when nerves kick in. If you dominate the conversation without giving your date room to share, it can come off as self-centered. It sends the message that you’re not interested in getting to know them.

Instead: Ask open-ended questions and actively listen to their responses. A good rule of thumb? Aim for a balanced back-and-forth.

Final Thoughts: Keep It Fun and Light

First dates aren’t interviews—they’re about connection, laughter, and seeing if there’s potential for something more. By steering clear of heavy or awkward topics, you set the stage for an enjoyable, memorable experience.

Remember: The goal is to leave your date feeling like they want to know more about you—not overwhelmed or uncomfortable. So relax, enjoy the moment, and let the conversation flow naturally.

Ready to Nail Your Next First Date? Let The Date Crew Help!

Navigating first dates doesn’t have to be stressful, and you don’t have to figure it all out alone. At The Date Crew, we help busy professionals like you connect with the right people—and give you the tools and tips to make every interaction count.

Fill out our contact form today, and let’s find you the connection you deserve. First dates are just the beginning—let’s make them unforgettable.

Happy dating!